


Their Choice

by solsun



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ch 138/123 Spoilers, F/M, Regret, Romance, Running Away, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 11:48:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30105504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solsun/pseuds/solsun
Summary: Mikasa’s answer to his question changed, giving him another choice to avoid diving into hell.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	Their Choice

It was this scene again, the same he saw all those years ago. As the boy ran to his family, his tears continued to fall. Everything was closing in on him, the inevitability of it all dawned on him more so than when he was making plans on the island. It only became all too real when he saw everything in person, that the violence would be snuffing out actual humans, dreams, and hopes. He will never be redeemed. This sin was far greater than he could ever imagine and it was his alone to bear.

He heard the woman who seemed bound to him by fate call his name. He was freezing up while she scolded him for disappearing. Eren wiped his tears. The boy and his family waved at them, holding him tight, grateful. She moved to his side, it all seemed natural for each other. They exchanged words on the boy and the similarities between their situations as refugees. “Like us, they... have no freedom left.”

They shared a silent moment together, listening to the chatter of the camp, watching the light emanate from the tents, the coldness of the night. Tired, desperate, hopeless he turned to Mikasa, asking why she cared for him so much. He didn’t deserve any of it, before he knew the truth and especially after. What am I to you, he asked, pleading. Her face confused and flustered. He didn’t know he was looking for an escape with her answer as he hung on to her words whatever may come.

Something happened that he couldn’t understand, some type of shift but she regained her composure and answered that he was everything to her, boring into his eyes, impassioned and honest.

“I-I can’t give you everything you deserve, my life is set, you know that right?” Eyes wide, excitement and fear danced inside him. “And the war, I have to...” visions of death and violence overwhelmed him, it will all be because of him.

“Eren! You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to!”

His eyes searching her, “... I have no other choice.” Why was he telling her this as if she understood.

“You do have a choice. Eren, lets run away, right here right now. Just the two of us.”

It was his turn to be overwhelmed as he repeated her last words. The boy’s old man was approaching them, drinks in hand and he could hear the sound of people coming closer to them. There was another choice, another option what it would entail he would have to find out on his own, if he makes this choice he would damn everyone he knew. It was now or never. No more time to think: choose.

Tears welled up in his eyes as his emotions rose to a high, grabbing her hand he ran, together with her, far away from the hell he was about to push himself into.

On the way to anywhere, his mind flashed to his memories, not anyone else’s, his. Of Armin and their dreams. Of Historia and her child. Of Jean, Sasha, Connie. Of Hange, Levi. Of all the soldiers who died for him. Of all the people he gave hope to. He ran harder, faster each face he saw. They will abandon them all. 

It was a choice he was already regretting, but he had enough will to keep moving forward, hand in hand.

He ran until he couldn’t anymore and collapsed. Mikasa held him. They were deep in a city they knew nothing about. But it didn’t matter. 

“We have to rest,” she said, breathing heavy, holding his heaving back.

He got up and held her hand. They walked the city searching for a place to stay the night and finally found a hotel, it wasn’t grand but plain and cheap enough. Paying for one night. 

They were finally alone. 

Mikasa got the bath running and Eren watched the city from the window. On the third floor he could see the night life of the vagrants and women of the night, the security force mixing well with them all. He paced the room not knowing what to do next, what to feel. Knocking on the bathroom door, he heard her answer him. Opening the door he saw only her red face poking out from the soap and bubbles. Taking his coat and vest off he came to her, dropping to his knees leaning on the rails of the tub searching for her eyes.

“I saw it all, everything in my fathers memories, the future, what I would do. I thought it was the only way, everything I saw, every action we took confirmed it. I destroyed it all, everything that stood in our way, even my own comrades, I crushed. You, Armin, I irrevocably hurt. I gave everyone false hope only to guide them to their deaths. I was a dead man still killing. For you all, for my dreams, I trampled the Earth and everything in it.”

He confessed in tears, the guilt, the shame, the self hatred ate him alive even though he still hadn’t done one-tenth of it all. 

He expected her to act in horror of him, to regret ever leaving with him, and let him wallow in sorrow alone. But she didn’t. Tears were in her eyes but she didn’t sob, she moved closer to him, the foam concealing her body and hugged him, softly saying it’s ok. His dress shirt wet, he felt her shake ever so subtly. 

“It’s not ok, I hurt you deliberately.”

“I know.”

“How could you possibly know?”

“I know.”

He couldn’t handle it, holding her shoulders he pulled away. The foam had dissolved and he saw her naked, looking into her eyes, she was deeply embarrassed but her determination was unyielding. Tears were pouring down, “I love you.” Her voice breaking.

That was it. His fate was sealed. He would spend the rest of his life with her, all that he had left he would give to her. Whatever may come their way, they would face it together. But he still felt guilt that he could only spend four years with her, leaving her alone when he died. He didn’t want her to feel that but he didn’t know what to do. 

With all the regret, the pain, the guilt, they would have each other at least for a while, that was all they could ask for. The world was cruel like that. 

This time he held her.

Confused, Mikasa asked “How do you feel about me?”

He said as his head was buried in her neck:

“You’re everything to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 138 was heartbreaking but it gave me more hope than any other chapter in this final arc. I wanted to write a story about their elopement so I can finally stop thinking about them though I doubt it will help. Thanks for reading!


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